I decided to record my first significant experience with God. My experience mainly have come through prayer; but I have realized his hand in my life over and over.
Years ago, I went to the Philippines to do some missionary service. I still remember flying on the airplane for 15 hours. For the first five hours of the flight over the Pacific, I looked out my window. I watched in amazement as I realized we were traveling around 500 miles per hour and all I could see for thousands of miles was water. In a moment, I had a feeling that I had never felt up to that point in my life. I felt small. Real small. I felt so insignificant in this vast world.
When we arrived in Manila, I was overwhelmed by the humidity. I walked through the airport wondering how people withstood this heat. When I walked outside, I realized the airport was air conditioned. I walked outside and all I could see was people everywhere. Of course I knew there were other people in this world, but this was the first time it hit me that this world was full of people. Billions of people. They were everywhere. I started to question a lot of the things I was taught about God. How could he really know all of us? The world just seemed too big and too crowded for one being to be conscious of all of that was in the world. Yet, I was taught He knew us all and he knew all things.
We were cramed into a small car and carted off to a holdover place before we would catch another plane to our remote post. Because of the time change, I was out of it. It was late at night and I could not sleep. I walked out and saw a man sitting with a guitar. I don't know why but I stopped to talk to him. He seemed absorbed in his thoughts. He stopped playing his guitar and spoke with me. He told me something that later came to be great advice. He said, to enjoy the time given me because it will someday come to an end. (I'll talk about this in a later entry).
A few hours later, some fellow missionaries and I were sent off to Tuguegarao (city in Northern Philippines). Before I left, I had committed to the Lord that I would stay in the Philippines for two years. When I landed in Tuguegarao, my mind was changing very quickly. It was hot and I was tried. I didn't understand what anyone was saying. I felt alone and lost for the first time in my life. Growing up I was always in a bubble. We never really moved after I was five years old so I grew up with the same friends. My family was always close by if I ever need them. I was quick to make friends. Life was easy. My food and housing were always provided. This was the first time I was on my own. No one was there to hold my hand. Even though I was far away I was not trapped, a telephone call to my father and he would have purchased a plane ticket for me to return.
The weight of the world seemed to be hanging over me. I wanted to go home but I wanted to keep my commitment. I don't believe I ever questioned God lived until that moment in my life.Before, there was never a reason to question God. He lives. Everyone knew that, that is what I thought. Now, I was questioning.
I remember the moment very well. It was about 9:00 at night. I was walking home with two other men after we had visited a family that needed our help. I had been working since 6:00 that morning and I was exhausted. I started to cry. I decided to pray in my mind. I pleaded for God to help me. I said, "if you want me to stay, I'm going to need your help." At that very moment, one of the men that was with me started to play a song on his harmonica. It was a song I had heard many times. I never really paid attention to the lyrics but I was familiar to the tune. When he started to play, the words of the song came to my mind. The words became very vivid.The lyrics of the song had a part that said, "and should we die, all is well". As the words came to my mind something changed in my heart. The desire to quit left and it was replace with a power of hope. A hope that I could overcome this new life that I was faced with. My tears were wiped away by the smile that came to my face. I felt like God was near. As a matter of fact, as if he was walking down that road in Penablanca (city outside of Tuguegarao) with me.
I came to know, at that time, that my Heavenly Father was real. He was not some good idea but an actual being. I came to know that he knew who I was and that he was listening to my prayers. I came to know a little more about my God.
