I learned what the Bible is not for...

 Let's face the truth. There are many different views on the Bible. So many, in fact, that it is almost impossible to determine who is right. Almost everyone has a good argument why their interpretation is right. Of course, I'm like everyone else and think my interpretation is right. One day, I learned a great lesson on how God thinks and how to use the Bible.
  At one point in my life, I lived in a very religious city. There were religions everywhere. Not only were the people religious but they loved to talk religion. I found myself talking with many pastors and clergyman. Almost always our conversations turned into arguments over doctrine. I began to notice that the same verses of scriptures were used against my religion with almost ever pastor. It was like they were reading a script. I was amazed, so I devised a cunning plan. I memorized the pattern, found all the scriptures that supported my position against that and attacked them back. Kind of a shock and awe tactic.
  Over the next few weeks, I became pretty good at Bible bashing. I convinced myself that it was okay because I was correcting the errors in other interpretations in the Bible. I thought, if they kept these errors and spread them further, they would erode God's word even further than it already has been eroded.  If they only could see the error in their doctrine, then they would join me "in truth." I don't like to brag but I was good. I was so good I sought out more victims to thrash. Even knocking on other religious leaders doors for the purpose of creating an argument.
  One day a friend of mine asked me to go visit with his friend who just returned from Bible school. I happily agreed. While we were visiting, this newly trained student began the usually scripture bashing routine. I played along for a few minutes. When he got to a very familiar passage, I took him to town showing him verse and verse where he was wrong. Not only where he was wrong but his whole faith was wrong.
 After a half an hour, I stopped I looked around and everyone's head was down. According to the world, I had won. He had nothing to come back with. At that moment, I felt horrible. I told him that I should go.
  We walked out into the night air. I didn't want to be around anyone. Something was eating me up. I needed to know what it was. I walked down a dark road praying. I asked, "Father why do I feel like this?" I then realized I must have done something terribly wrong. I asked God to forgive me for creating such a evil atmosphere in that man's home. After I asked, I felt words. I didn't hear a voice but it was like I did. The words were put directly into my mind. God said, "shame on you for using My word to destroy another man's faith in Me."
  I was shocked and awed. I saw all the timed I had used the Bible to win a verbal battle. It was never for the Lord it was for me to be "right." I learned that the Bible is meant to uplift and enlighten; not to prove others wrong. I know God loves me and forgives me of destroying other men's faith. I hope I never do it again.

How can God love us if he allows all this suffering

 Many years ago, in a foreign country I really learned the love of God. During that time I was living in a small village just outside of a city. Once a week, I would come in town and meet with some friends and get some things done. As friends, we would go eat at a local diner.

 I still remember the first time I met that young boy. I don't know his name but his condition was so horrific that no man could not help but notice. His arms were deformed from the shoulders down. His hands looked like they had been tortured to a non-human form. His legs were just as bad. His face was so deformed that it made it almost impossible for him to speak properly.

  I first saw him dragging himself to the front entrance of the diner where we were going to eat. I couldn't help but notice him and I had a feeling neither could anyone else there. There was something within us all that wanted to reach out to him. But we didn't. We all sat there and ate. I watched out of the corner of my eye as person after person walked past him acting as if they could not see. Like they were so busy to notice, like he was invisible. All notice he was there. I sat in sham as I too did not extend my hand to him.

  One of my good friends, Hope is his last name, stood up with his meal walked out of the diner and sat next to him. The rest of us looked at each other and like sheep stood up to follow a good shepherd. We sat by the door eating with him. I gave my food to this man; but he fed me. I don't know how to explain it other than I felt full. Full of all that I needed to survive in this world.

   It was time for us to leave so we stood up and on his face was a beautiful smile. More beautiful than I had seen in my whole life. It was a smile of complete joy. We turned and jumped on a bus to go home. As we sat there on the bus. We all sat silently. I looked in the eyes of each of my friends. All were filled with tears. A feeling overcame me that must have overcame them. I bowed my head and thanked God for the experience. I felt these words that I'll never forget, "thank you, I love that man."

Many say, how can God love us if he allows all this suffering. I don't think words can answer that question but what I felt that day on that bus has answered it for me. He does. I know it.

Janurary 2, 2003 -- Granada Experience

 Below is my journal entry about my experience with how my Heavenly Father helped me realize a mistake I was making. There are a lot of errors. This experience took place in the Philippines. I remembered this story and wrote it down in my journal. Here is the excerpt. 

It’s finally 2003, I can’t believe it – time flys. I can’t even remember a hundredth part of what happened in 2002 but I give an overview.

            About 1 year ago I was transferred to San Mariano. That place at first became a great challenge that I had to overcome. My first companion was Draper – one of the nicest kids ever. I loved Draper, he taught me so many great things. The thing that I was the most impressed with him was his love and dedication to the work. Draper had a hard life right before he came on his mission. His father died of cancer. The thing that impressed me most with him was that at that time his brother had the same kind of cancer but it didn’t faze him he just kept on working. I saw a living example of a man that Jesus described when he said that any man that turns back is not worthy of his work and that great phrase came “let the dead bury the dead.” Some preach it Draper lived it.

            Soon after that fast Sunday came, and I still remember what I fasted for, I fasted that I would understand the language better. A week later Draper was transferred and Granada came into my life.  Granada is the hardest person to understand. His Tagalog is horrible and it is almost impossible to understand. At first I found it most difficult to communicate; and I thought Granada to be very rude. I came to a point that I hated Granada with all fiber of my being and didn't mind if he was to die. My first reaction was that something must be wrong. I felt that I was in the wrong area and I remembered that zone conference was coming soon. As the days came closer to zone conference my hatred for Granada grew and I wanted to be transferred. So I came to the conclusion that I was not suppose to be in San Mariano. I decided to tell President that I needed to be transferred. On the way to Ilagan for zone conference, I asked the Lord to help me with my problem. The Lord answered my prayer half way through the meeting President stopped his talk and told all of us that he prays long and hard to know where we are suppose to go. I knew that after President had said that that was my answer to my prayer but the logical question that followed was – why?

I took this picture at the place where I felt my heart changed. I do not remember the boys name who is in the picture. He was our guide. Behind the boy is the corn field and to his left is the river.

Why was I there? Why was I supposed to go through that hell? I went home and dropped on my knees and asked the Lord for help. I prayed so long and hard I drew tears; I couldn’t take it. After the prayer, I stood on my feet and picked up the Liahona and read the article about how in all trials we need to grow. I can’t remember what it was about but I remember a man named Wirthlin wrote the article. All I remember is that it changed my heart to realize that even though Granada was wrong in some of the things he was doing, I was wrong for not loving him for who he was. I felt a great relief after I read that but I still hated him. 

The next day I prayed and as we walked down over the market place up to the Catholic Church. As we walked across the river, I asked God to change my heart. By the time we got out of the city and into the corn fields I felt a love come over me that changed my soul. This feeling grew stronger as we walked through this corn field and this love eventually took over my body. I stopped there by that river and thanked God and looked at Granada and thought of how much I loved him. 

I was happy for the rest of the day. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. When we arrived home that night a note was pinned to my door. It said that something had happened in another area and that I would be transferred at the next transfer meeting. I'm grateful that God let me suffer so I could see the good in Granada. Granada is a great man. It was too bad I let my hate get in the way of us become good friends.